I enjoyed listening to the rain falling last night and when i woke this morning.
I really felt like i needed some exercise as i have been doing a ridiculously large amount of time lying around in bed and my body (especially my back) needed a good stretch. Initially i thought i would do a 'workout' and some 'yoga' on the wii but then changed my mind and decided to go for a walk.
Usually i have a pretty set route I take which is part of my focusing/mindfulness/relaxation. But today I decided to go inland across the island and then went down on to the beach near the redclay cliffs. As it was high tide I had to walk through knee high water which was fun as there was a lot of beautiful small schools of fish to watch. 
It was like I was on a deserted island right up until i reached the jetty/main street area. I am really pleased I did this walk.
Now I am going off to the movies with A and L. Going to the movies is a fairly new thing for me to do to spend time relaxing. I think I used to view it as being too lazy or that I was wasting time. Anyway it is all part of me trying new things to bring joy back into my life.

Circus_nut just came past me saying, "oh no it's raining!!! I won't be able to ride my unicycle down to the jetty." This is now his main form of transportation everywhere it is wonderful to see how much he is enjoying learning this new skill.

To hoedownhick I will particularly look out for people who are demonstrating kindness and caring today.
To runawaytroll

Today circus_nut and i are off to see a show called '31 Circus Acts in 30 Minutes' www.slq.qld.gov.au/whats-on/events/children/circus#31acts. It should be good and I am looking forward to getting out in the world further than Victoria Point for a change.

We have nearly got all of circus_nut's school gear organised although I need to get him to try his shorts on to see if they need any adjusting as I think they may be a bit loose. He got his hair cut on Sunday and new sports shoes on Saturday. Not exactly standard school issue hair or shoes but going from our past experience of Kimberly College I think they will be acceptable at his school. His 'sports' shoes are turquise blue converses and his hair cut is a toned down version of irishdancer's. I figure that if K didn't get reprimanded for doing the cross country race in a 'mankini' then the school will be able to cope with L's bright coloured shoes and slightly out there hair cut.

Got to go. Nice to feel that I can chat this morning though.

Hey I just followed the link to see what yoga pose I was after having read what hoedownhick had included in one of her postings.  Well I think that mine must be describing the person that is hidden behind the me that has been operating these past years. I would like to be the person that the yoga pose was describing though!!

Today I have let myself feel the love and support of my wonderful family. It is not always so easy for me to let my guard down and expose my vulnerabilities to others but by having done this I am reaping the rewards of feeling truly loved and cared for.

Thankyou to my beautiful sister hoedownhick for coming to stay with me and for bringing D and their lovely dog too.

Well I have to say that live journal is just not the same for me since

hoedownhickhas been off on her big across Australia adventure. But I have not given up on it and still enjoy catching up on the entries that my other lj friends contribute. 

The fog hanging over my brain and life seems to be  starting to lift lately. Each day I am feeling stronger and much more hopeful of coming out of this black hole some time soon. Now that I am not struggling so much to just survive each day I have been able to begin to make plans and implement actions to keep myself well. One of the main things that I have been doing is to try to make positive choices about how I feel about situations that arise and to begin to teach myself to choose happiness over negativeness.

I might use my live journal to record some of my thoughts and ideas as I continue to work on this stuff, or maybe I will get a paper journal to do this in.

It has been a big week for me as my second born child turned 18. I think that for most of this year I have been coming to terms with the realisation that I am the parent of two adult children, since the oldest 2 are both now at university and living away from home. But never the less these types of life events always hit me pretty hard and they can be the impetus for me spirraling downwards into a deep pit. This week though I am proud to say that although there were times when i felt the anxiety rising in my chest, I was able to work with myself to acknowledge how I was feeling and to dissolve these feelings before they impacted negatively on my behaviour, attitudes or beliefs about myself. 

A small group of family and friends gathered together for good food and good company on the night of this birthday. Together we  celebrated the life and future of this wonderful person who I am so grateful to have in my life.  

 

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 Wishing you a very happy birthday for tomorrow miss_donna

I really haven't felt like writing any entries lately, although I have been regularly visiting my 'friends' group page and keeping up with their entries/lives. 

I have been a bit wobbly for awhile now but am working really hard to get to a better place. There are certainly more good days than hard days recently so that is a great thing. I have deferred from one of my uni subjects ( which was a really hard decision to make but am glad that I did it). So I am only doing one subject now and I still have a few weeks before the assignment is due and then a couple of weeks after that before the exam. I am enjoying the assignment and have been plodding along doing work on it most days. 

We had a huge delivery of soil and compost yesterday. This is exciting as it means that we can extend our garden beds and plant more trees and other things. Also we had the base material for our new water tank to sit on delivered at the same time. It will be great to have the water tank installed and connected to the roof/down pipes. The first thing I will do with the new garden materials is to create garden beds along the back fence where i am going to plant out a variety of flowering ginger plants. I already have six pots of ginger (holding about fifteen plants) ready to be planted so this will be a very fulfilling job. I also have some ideas of ways to 'beautify' the chook pen area by planting out around the outside of the run with hardy herbs and then attaching some shallow/long plant containers at the top of the frame of the pen and then planting some type of herb/flower which will hang down out of the pots. Hopefully then it will look a bit more attractive.

M has three weeks off work in June which will be great. Apart from doing stuff at home we are also planning to go somewhere with circus_nut for about 5 days. Don't know where yet but have just spent a few hours browsing on the internet and have a few ideas. Probably we will just go somewhere within a fairly easy drive from Brisbane. One idea is to stay at Bunya Mountains which is a place we used to visit when we lived up that way several years ago. Anyway we'll give it some more thought before making a decision as although somewhere like Bunya Mountains would suit M and I it might not seem very interesting to circus_nut.

Better stop now and go to bed.

 This is a hello to miss_donna. I thought that I had successfully added you as a friend to my live journal but I'm not sure if you have been able to see my messages yet. Let me know if you can see them. Cheers

 I forgot to post an entry yesterday to say a very big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my very dear big sister hoedownhick. So here it is .....

Happy Birthday To You.

I did speak to hoedownhick yesterday on the phone though. She is having a great time on her trip and I am so  happy for her. She deserves this happiness very much.

Love you hoedownhick

I haven't been looking at lj for about a week but have just read through the entries i haven't read. I really love to read the entries that you write in and i envy the ease with which you both seem to be able to write down your thoughts and experiences.

This is a photo of Luka when taken just  half an hour after he was born.
He has had a lovely 12th birthday morning today. I think this is a lovely age that he is at. He is lots of fun to be around and is good company when we spend time together.
Looking forward to seeing you 

hoedownhick and girlneedsagun on the weekend. 

 

  I just saw girlneedsagun's icon featuring Max from Where the Wild Things Are and it inspired me to upload this new photo icon. When circus_nut was in preschool  they had a dress as your favourite book character and I made this Max suit for him. It actually has the head/hood piece with ears and whiskars but he had to wear his sun hat when playing outside. But there is more ...... I had a borrowed adult sized Max suit which I wore to preschool also. I have to admit I think the book character was probably my favourite more than my son's. I made the costume in my usual crazy style. No pattern required. Just lay the child on top of the material (on the dining room table) and just cut around him and sew up and adjust as needed. It really worked out quite well and had a big fake animal fur tail at the back also.

Anyway just thought you might be interested in seeing this. Especially you two girlneedsagunand hoedownhick. And notice the early interest in circus tricks that were already emerging at that young age.

I have had the most wonderful weekend at home. I almost feel like I have had a weekend away as I was able to feel relaxed and enjoy the wonderful home and environment that I live in with lots of people I love lots.
I am still feeling this contented feeling this morning and am feeling happy to be spending the morning at home beginning to tackle my university study work. Have been also doing some research this morning in preparation for establishing a homebased first aid training business with my partner. He will be doing the teaching and I will do the behind the scenes organising, paperwork, etc. I think it will be a good project to do together and that we can do a good job of it.
Have a good day.

Well i have just about spent enough time reading my emails and lj friends page so i best get stuck into all those other things that i have to do in the next hour before i have to go out. I am going to circus_nuts school class this morning to start helping out with their class reading/literacy program. He is really nervous about what i am going to turn up dressed in and wanted to pick out an outfit for me before he left for school. Don't know why he could be worried when you can see from the photo above that i have such great fashion sense. I think that so long as i don't turn up in something as formal as the long dress I wore to our 'non-wedding' party or as casual as my favourite mens pyjama shorts that i stole from the hospital a few years ago i should be okay.

We had a lovely family night last night and after i do the reading thingy this morning circus_nut will leave school with me and we will pick up the irishdancer and drive him over to his new accomodation. I have been reading some of his uni course outlines and assessment details this morning and it all sounds really exciting and I think that he is going to have a fantastic time.

I have only had one brief phone message from toronto girl recently. She is on a week long trip with a group of other international students, visiting montreal and quebec city. It is their mid-semester break now which is funny because we haven't even started uni for the year yet.
Better go and tackle the mile high pile of dishes left over from last night and go and pick out that suitable outfit to wear to the school.

Hey just wondering how you dob in someone that has stolen your lj icon picture. hoedownhick this is aimed at you!!!
Just joking. I'm thinking about loading that other good shot of you, me, G and K sitting on the septic tank. It cracks me up when I look at it.

On a more serious note. I have just loaded up my grill shelf with my beautiful homegrown eggplants. I will cook them until the skin is brittle and I can scoop out the flesh and then am preparing a batch of bab ganoush. We are having a special family dinner tonight as it is irish dancers last official night at the coochie home before he heads off to live in the big city.

Well it is very late (for me) and my second night in a row to go to bed later than I probably should do. But tonight just has got away from me and I really needed to upload this delightful old photo of hoedownhickand myself before I went to bed. Hoedownhick and I had a lot of fun today looking through old photos. Having some great laughs, remembering times long gone past and delighting in our beautiful family. My home is soon to become a bit quieter when my gorgeous son moves away from home on Friday, so that he can live closer to his university campus. I will miss him terribly but will look for the good things to come from this life change. 

Got to go to bed now as I am starting to fall asleep as I type.
Love you heaps girlneedsagunand hoedownhick.

I am ending my day feeling brighter than i felt when I woke this morning. Actually I went  to bed last night feeling lousy and so there is no wonder that I got up not very cheery. But the day improved heaps when I had the chance to spend time with girlneedsagun. Thanks. 
Tomorrow will be spent at home which I am happy about as there are lots of little tasks that I would like to potter along with. In the evening I might go to the cinema with M and see Juno as he has not been to see it yet.

I would have to say that I have taught myself to cook over the years. I have learnt a lot from reading heaps of cookbooks and trying out new recipes. Also I think that I have learnt from the necessity of combining the ingredients I have on hand to create something tasteful and nutritious. The cooking I enjoy most is when it involves using home grown / produced items. Yesterday I had the pleasure of cooking with a huge lot of egglplants that I harvested from my garden. I have been growing the thin purple variety (pictured above) and they are really bountiful producers of fruit. The dish I made was an indian recipe which involved cooking the eggplants whole under a hot grill, until it was possible to easily peel the skin and scoop out the flesh. Meanwhile a spice mix was prepared by blending onion, ginger, garlic and green chillis (chilli from garden also). The onion mix is then fried and dried spices are added to this along with chopped tomatoes. Lastly the flesh of the eggplant is added and simmered for a short time. It was really delicious and went well with the red lentil and pumpkin dahl that I was cooking at the same time also.